Finished reading the latest from Mitch Albom today..."for one more day" - a story about a man who meets his dead mother for a day (only Mitch can deal with such subjects in a completely uncomplicated manner). the book has touched my heart, made me think, and brought back many childhood memories....which i thought of penning down.
i was 10 when dad expired. he wasn't with us when he breathed his last. i remember being woken up in the middle of the night, to be given this news. mum was unconsolable....she was only 36 then, with three kids...me the youngest. i remember lying down with her that night, on the carpet in the drawing room, gazing at the stars from the window at 5 in the morning...trying to understand how far heaven was.things were never the same after that. at that time, for me it probably only meant moving to a different city, new school, making new friends, and, not being able to put my head on dad's stomach while he slept. but mum had to go through much more - relations with some relatives soured, there was no one earning in the family (mum cud not work as she wasn't educated enough) and we all had to complete our studies, and above all, mum's personal life changed completely. from army style parties to no friends or relatives to go out with. she became lonely, very alone. her life centred around her kids, us....and she was always strong in front of us, encouraged me to play with friends and be happy....played with us at times, stayed awake when i studied at night.
inspired by Mitch's latest book, i decided to write down about the times my mother has stood up for me or just been by my side, with me. here it goes...the list is long, so i will pen down a few examples.
1) my first memories - mum had taken up a job at a local beauty parlour to be financially independent and also keep herself busy. money was a problem, but we had access to basic comforts of life. however, it often got difficult (mum often got cold drinks for us after selling old newspapers. it was a treat - everytime old papers were sold, we all used to decide about what to do with the money). mum used to go to the parlour after we went to school, come back for lunch and then go again. i used to hate the fact that she was not there to spend time with me after i came back from school. one day she was ready to return to the parlour after lunch, and i was almost in tears...told her "plz dont go, i get bored". she looked at me, stopped for a moment, smiled and said okay. that was it. she never went after that.
2) when i was applying for admission to colleges, and not getting in anywhere due to not so good marks, i went to one college to find out about seats. mum was with me (yes, throughout my college struggle, she was with me....in the bus, in the queues...). we were told at the college gate that admission was closed. but somehow, we managed to see the principal after my mum convinced a staff member. the principal, ofcourse keeping in mind the college regulations, was absolutely uncooperative, and almost curt. i got up to leave the room, but mum stayed. for 2 min she was lookin at me, then looked at the principal and folded her hands. she begged him to give admission to me as i really wanted to go to a good college. the principal was heartless...showing no respect for my mother. i had to almost drag mum out of her seat...
3) when i graduated (through correspondence) i was unhappy with my marks, yet again.... a third division. i was wondering what mum would say. but when i reached home, mum had baked a cake, looked extremely happy and hugged me saying "my daughter has graduated...its a big day!"....she did'nt bother about my marks...and ofcourse, now things are different:)
People often say that i worry too much about my mum, and spend too much time with her instead of friends. but i love her and no one will ever understand how it feels to have a single parent, unless u have seen it yourself. I have seen loneliness so close by, that sometimes i feel i have aslo become used to it. i often question God about why he did this to mum, but i know there are no answers. a young and beautiful lady, spending two third of her life without a man in her life....no friends either. finding solace in her children's happiness only...its not easy. i love you mom
i was 10 when dad expired. he wasn't with us when he breathed his last. i remember being woken up in the middle of the night, to be given this news. mum was unconsolable....she was only 36 then, with three kids...me the youngest. i remember lying down with her that night, on the carpet in the drawing room, gazing at the stars from the window at 5 in the morning...trying to understand how far heaven was.things were never the same after that. at that time, for me it probably only meant moving to a different city, new school, making new friends, and, not being able to put my head on dad's stomach while he slept. but mum had to go through much more - relations with some relatives soured, there was no one earning in the family (mum cud not work as she wasn't educated enough) and we all had to complete our studies, and above all, mum's personal life changed completely. from army style parties to no friends or relatives to go out with. she became lonely, very alone. her life centred around her kids, us....and she was always strong in front of us, encouraged me to play with friends and be happy....played with us at times, stayed awake when i studied at night.
inspired by Mitch's latest book, i decided to write down about the times my mother has stood up for me or just been by my side, with me. here it goes...the list is long, so i will pen down a few examples.
1) my first memories - mum had taken up a job at a local beauty parlour to be financially independent and also keep herself busy. money was a problem, but we had access to basic comforts of life. however, it often got difficult (mum often got cold drinks for us after selling old newspapers. it was a treat - everytime old papers were sold, we all used to decide about what to do with the money). mum used to go to the parlour after we went to school, come back for lunch and then go again. i used to hate the fact that she was not there to spend time with me after i came back from school. one day she was ready to return to the parlour after lunch, and i was almost in tears...told her "plz dont go, i get bored". she looked at me, stopped for a moment, smiled and said okay. that was it. she never went after that.
2) when i was applying for admission to colleges, and not getting in anywhere due to not so good marks, i went to one college to find out about seats. mum was with me (yes, throughout my college struggle, she was with me....in the bus, in the queues...). we were told at the college gate that admission was closed. but somehow, we managed to see the principal after my mum convinced a staff member. the principal, ofcourse keeping in mind the college regulations, was absolutely uncooperative, and almost curt. i got up to leave the room, but mum stayed. for 2 min she was lookin at me, then looked at the principal and folded her hands. she begged him to give admission to me as i really wanted to go to a good college. the principal was heartless...showing no respect for my mother. i had to almost drag mum out of her seat...
3) when i graduated (through correspondence) i was unhappy with my marks, yet again.... a third division. i was wondering what mum would say. but when i reached home, mum had baked a cake, looked extremely happy and hugged me saying "my daughter has graduated...its a big day!"....she did'nt bother about my marks...and ofcourse, now things are different:)
People often say that i worry too much about my mum, and spend too much time with her instead of friends. but i love her and no one will ever understand how it feels to have a single parent, unless u have seen it yourself. I have seen loneliness so close by, that sometimes i feel i have aslo become used to it. i often question God about why he did this to mum, but i know there are no answers. a young and beautiful lady, spending two third of her life without a man in her life....no friends either. finding solace in her children's happiness only...its not easy. i love you mom
5 comments:
Hi...
If this is the Mehdi Fauzia girlee from TIS era then I shall take the liberty to go ahead by first letting her know that I was a classmate and I just wandered here through a friend's orkut account. I would be interested in catching up and say... chat with her for a while either on Yahoo chat or Gtalk as i don't feature myself on orkut. Kindly leave a message on my blog.
B
I am so touched by your post. Mothers are aliens. They can't be human.
Yaad barbas aa gayi Maa, dekha maine jab kabhi;
Mombatti ko pighalkar raushni dete hue..
Trust me people who feel that you don't spend enough time with them, would never understand that. Once you share that kind of relationship with someone, you realzie how hollow these everyday realtionships around us are.
Take very good care of her.
In my adolescent days, my Dad always used to remind me "How sharper than a serpent's tooth, it is to have a thankless child." He dosn't say it anymore though. I hope my behavior cause remind him of King Lear, yet again.
this is alomost deja vu.. to read these notes..remind me of things excactly the way they happened in my life..
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