April 24, 2007

Indebted for Life!


No, this is not a romantic post:) Nor does it talk about spirituality. It is simply about friends - friends, hard to find, harder to keep (?)

I have often wondered whether I am a 'good' friend for my friends. Then I think, after all what is a good friend?? Am I as good as my friend? Its tough...very often my evaluation criteria are not the same as those used by my friends:) I know I know, you never 'evaluate' friends....but, well, I did not get a better word (don't tell me you have never 'evaluated' a friend???)

But one thing I know, is that just like lovers, you need to 'connect' with you friends. Difficult to explain...all I can say is that it comes from within. Either you feel it (that you connect with your friend) or you don't...and you will know almost immediately in both cases.

Coming back to the title of this post, I am going to mention a few friends (no names!) to whom I am indebted for life (serious!) because of one or more incident(s) which touched my heart. Indebted for life means that nothing else matters....we are friends forever, no matter how much we fight. With these friends, I just know that i will never lose touch, even if we talk once a year. I know that they will always be there for me, and me for them. There will be moments of disappointment/hurt, for me or them, but something inside will tell you almost instantly - "are you crazy?..." And then you will just laugh it off....

Friend A, a very close friend, also a guide and philosopher. I truly believe she and I were either sisters or mother and daughter in my pevious life! Its strange how there are times when I am really upset with her, and the next moment I feel like just hugging her and telling her its okay, I am sorry (irrespective of whose fault it is/was::))! So here is why I am indebeted to her - she was with me in my lowest moment in life till date. The difference is, she was with me BY CHOICE. While the phase lasted several months, there was this particular day which comes to my mind always. I was desparate, broken, shattered, sitting alone in a park and crying my heart out when she called to find out where I was. She knew why I was there, and she knew there was no hope. But she gave it to me - hope. Before my tears were dry, she was there, beside me, comforting me. In those few moments I truly believed my destiny will change, God will be kinder, everything will be fine. The pain lessened, almost immediately. Only now do I realise, that I REALLY needed her with me that day....and, then, she knew it more than me. Thank you friend, you are the only person who provides me support without knowing about it:)....

Friend B is this friend whom I love to hate:) Whenever we talk, we almost end up fighting. Clearly, there are very few similarities between us...yet we have been friends for almost 17 years now! We have hurt each other, fought, cried and made up...and the friendship has only grown to be stronger. I would have thought it was sheer miracle..but for a few instances that have sealed our friendship forever! She refused to believe my excuses on holi (that pissed me off like nothing can...I would shout at her from my balcony and she would just smile, waiting for me to come down...and I did!!!) She is one person on whom I can take out all my frustration when I am angry, and the next day we will be back to cracking silly jokes:). Thanks buddy, life wouldn't be same without you...

Friend C is an intellectual. Whenever I think about her I feel that is how I would want my daughter to be someday:)..(oh, difficult task its gonna be!!). She is a chatter box, a little kid who has grown up to become a strategy consultant. At work, we would constantly fight about the airconditioner - she had a permanent cold and wanted it off all the time! I always thought that she was too practical, not as sensitive as I would want her to be.....till one day I got a greeting card from her. This was also during that phase of my life where I talked about Friend A. I had spoken to her, told her what was going on....and was a bit disappointed when I did not hear many comforting words from her. Then a few days later I got this card....from what she had written, I thought no one could understand it the way she did....that made such a difference. Truly, words can do what actions never ever can (and she has anyways mastered this art!). And who sends cards by post these days??? In her own way, she was there for me....thank you my kiddo pal:)

Friends D, E and F - this is a gang. They will never leave you! For almost two years, they tried to get in touch with me...called me, mailed me and wanted to meet me...but I refused. At times, I was curt, and told them I don't feel like meeting anyone (same phase of my life...). They understood, gave me space, let me be...waited for me to come back to them. I took my time, but finally one day I came out of my self-created cocoon, and really felt like meeting them....and it did not take the three of them a second to say yes. I was expecting many questions when we met....but nothing. No explanations, no answers to awkward questions...we met like old school friends meet after 10 long years! What an amazing feeling....I feel blessed to have you as friends!

There are some other such examples, can't mention all of them here. Happy to have so many friends (friends are always good, I have realised....others are not friends)!! Life is bliss...just to know you guys are there:)